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！ She did not exist： she would not be born till to…morrow； some time after eight o’clock a。m。； and I would wait to be assured she had e into the world alive before I assigned to her all that property。 It was enough that in yonder closet； opposite my dressing…table； garments said to be hers had already displaced my black stuff Lowood frock and straw bon： for not to me appertained that suit of wedding raiment； the pearl…coloured robe； the vapoury veil pendent from the usurped portmanteau。 I shut the closet to conceal the strange； wraith…like apparel it contained； which； at this evening hour—nine o’clock— gave out certainly a most ghostly shimmer through the shadow of my apartment。 “I will leave you by yourself； white dream；” I said。 “I am feverish： I hear the wind blowing： I will go out of doors and feel it。”
It was not only the hurry of preparation that made me feverish； not only the anticipation of the great change—the new life which was to mence to…morrow： both these circumstances had their share； doubtless； in producing that restless； excited mood which hurried me forth at this late hour into the darkening grounds： but a third cause influenced my mind more than they。
I had at heart a strange and anxious thought。 Something had happened which I could not prehend； no one knew of or had seen the event but myself： it had taken place the preceding night。 Mr。 Rochester that night was absent from home； nor was he yet returned： business had called him to a small es
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